The holidays can be beautiful when you get together with family, friends, and other happy people. As you try to stay sober, it can also feel like you’re walking through a trap. The holidays can be hard on even the strongest people, with all the eggnog at parties and the stress of family meetings.
Don’t worry; you don’t have to do it alone. With the right attitude and some useful tips, you can stay on track with your healing and still enjoy everything the season has to offer. Let’s look at some tips that will help you stay on track so you can enjoy the important times.
What Makes the Holidays Challenging for Those in Recovery?
The holidays are known for joy and celebration, but for those in recovery, they can bring a different set of challenges. From increased social events to ramped-up emotions with family gatherings, staying sober can be quite daunting. Following are some reasons why this time of year feels very much an uphill battle:
- Social Pressure: There is a lot of pressure to “join in the fun” at holiday parties, which at times may mean pressuring one to drink. Even well-meaning friends and family may encourage one without realizing its impact.
- Emotional Triggers: The holiday season can stir up a lot of emotions—both good and bad. From nostalgia to unresolved family issues, these emotional triggers can make it hard to stay focused on your sobriety.
- Disrupted Routines: During the holidays, routine sometimes goes out the window. Changes in daily schedules and a surge of events make it challenging to keep some of those habits that have ultimately kept you glued together throughout recovery.
But these challenges don’t have to derail your progress. A little preparation and positioning for success can help you get through the season with your sober life intact.
Tips for Staying Sober for the Holidays
You can most certainly have a fantastic holiday season without sacrificing your sobriety. Here are eight actionable, real-world tips that will help you confidently make it through this time of year.
1. Recognize and Dodge Those Triggers
Knowing what sets you off is key. It’s like driving—you wouldn’t head into a storm without knowing the weather. Take a minute and reflect upon what can trigger the desire to want to have a drink: situations or people that will make you crave one. Is it at a specific gathering, seeing a certain friend, or even the nostalgia of the season?
When you know what may trigger you, have a plan. You could leave early if things get tense or have a friend on standby for a quick chat. Sometimes, all it takes is stepping outside for fresh air to breathe and clear your head to reset your focus. It’s about staying one step ahead so you don’t find yourself in a situation where saying “no” feels impossible.
2. Stress Less, Smile More
Let’s face it: the holidays can be sort of a pressure cooker, and that’s aside from all the shopping, family gatherings, and picture-perfect everything that raises the level of stress way higher. But stress doesn’t have to rule your world.
Think of stress as an uninvited guest, coming sometimes, but you are not at liberty to entertain him. Make time each day for a relaxing practice, such as a block-long walk, a favorite music track, or quiet time over tea. And when it seems all too much, breathe deep. It may sound too easy, but it works wonders when your mind is racing.
A few quick ways to keep stress in check:
- Practice mindful breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four. Repeat until you feel your mind settle.
- Create a daily ritual: Whether it’s reading a chapter of a book or stretching before bed, small routines can anchor your day.
- Stay active: Even a short walk can help lift your mood and release tension.
Remember, you don’t need to say “yes” to every invite. It’s okay to prioritize your peace and choose the events that align with your well-being.
3. Draw the Line with Unhealthy Relationships
Family dynamics can be tricky, especially during the holidays. That one relative who always brings up old conflicts or asks why you’re not drinking—yeah, it can get awkward. Setting boundaries is not just helpful; it’s necessary.
Don’t be afraid to communicate what you need. If certain topics make you uncomfortable, let people know: “I’d rather not talk about that right now.” It doesn’t have to be a big confrontation, just a gentle reminder that your focus is on enjoying the holiday and staying true to your goals. And if the conversation isn’t going anywhere good, it’s perfectly fine to excuse yourself. Think of it as giving yourself a timeout, but one that protects your peace.
Spending time with those who genuinely support your recovery can make a world of difference. It’s much easier to stay on track when you’re surrounded by people who cheer you on rather than those who bring you down.
4. Be Ready for Anything at Social Gatherings
Holiday parties don’t have to be off-limits. With a little bit of prep, you can show up, have a good time, and leave without a second thought about drinking.
- Bring your own non-alcoholic option: A sparkling water, a special mocktail, or even just your favorite soda can keep your hands busy and make you feel more comfortable. It’s a small step, but it can help you feel more at ease when everyone around you is holding a drink.
- Buddy up with a sober friend: If you’re worried about being the only sober one in the room, consider bringing along a friend who understands your journey. Having someone by your side who gets it can make those awkward moments—like turning down a drink offer—a whole lot easier.
- Have a response ready: Think ahead about how you’ll respond when people ask why you’re not drinking. A simple, “I’m just taking a break,” or “I’m focusing on my health,” usually does the trick. Most people won’t press further, and those who do? Well, it says more about them than you.
5. Rediscover the Joy in Sober-Friendly Fun
The holidays are an excellent time to get involved in things one can do without drinking, such as alcohol-free activities that truly make one happy and fulfilled. Consider what one enjoyed before alcohol took hold. Which hobbies or innocent pleasures did one give up? The time has come to get them back.
Try embracing the small pleasures of the season: go ice skating, stroll to see holiday lights, or plan a cozy movie night with classic favorites. Invite friends for a game night where humor is the drink of choice. Alternatively, try something new, such as cooking a holiday meal from scratch or picking up a craft that catches your eye. And when you allow yourself to reconnect with the things that make you feel good, you might be surprised how much fun sober living can be.
That means the joy is more than just something to keep you busy; finding those sparks that remind you life is still enjoyable without a drink in your hand.
6. Lean on Your Tribe When It Matters Most
Sobriety isn’t a solo mission, especially during the holidays. The truth is, having a solid support network can make all the difference when temptations creep in. Surrounding yourself with people who understand your journey and who want to see you succeed is like having a safety net on those tough days.
Whether it’s reaching out to a trusted friend, checking in with a sponsor, or joining a support group, knowing that you’re not alone can ease the burden. Sometimes, it’s as simple as sending a text when you’re feeling low or meeting up with a sober buddy for a coffee. Don’t be afraid to lean on the people who care about you—they want to help, and sometimes all it takes is letting them know you need a little extra support.
Here are a few ways to stay connected with your support network:
- Schedule regular check-ins: Whether it’s weekly coffee meetups or a quick call every few days, having a routine can help you stay grounded.
- Join online meetings: If in-person options are limited, virtual meetings can offer the same sense of community and understanding.
- Be honest about your struggles: It’s okay to let people know when you’re having a rough day. They’ll appreciate your openness, and it can lead to meaningful conversations that lift your spirits.
And if in-person support is limited, online meetings and communities can be just as powerful. Sometimes, a virtual chat with someone who understands can lift a weight off your shoulders and remind you why you’re doing this.
7. Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude
Gratitude might seem like a buzzword, but it’s a powerful tool—especially when the holiday stress starts creeping in. When you take time to focus on what you’re thankful for, it shifts your perspective. It’s like switching from a negative lens to one that highlights the good in your life.
You don’t need to keep a fancy journal. Just jot down three things you’re grateful for each day. It could be as simple as a warm cup of coffee, a phone call with a friend, or even just the fact that you made it through the day without drinking. These small moments of gratitude can anchor you, especially when the holiday rush feels overwhelming.
Gratitude is also a great way to remind yourself of how far you’ve come. Instead of focusing on what you’re missing, think about everything you’ve gained in sobriety—better health, clearer thoughts, deeper connections. It’s a way to celebrate your progress, even when the journey feels tough.
8. Know When to Ask for Help
We need help to get through the holidays—or life, for that matter—and if you’re finding it hard, it’s okay to ask for help. Now, asking for help is not some kind of weakness but rather one of strength, which means you care enough about yourself to seek support before things spiral out of control.
Keep a list of people to whom one may turn when the feeling of being overwhelmed seems to creep in, whether it is a trusted friend, a mentor, or a support group. Remember, if your feelings cannot be shared with someone close to you, there are hotlines and online resources for people in recovery.
Sometimes, speaking with a stranger may offer a new perspective. Think about it this way: You give yourself the gift of compassion over the holidays. You are entitled to support, to be heard, and to be understood when the road gets bumpy.
Conclusion
Staying sober during the holidays might seem daunting, but with the right tools, you can turn this season into a time of genuine joy and connection. By recognizing your triggers, managing stress, setting boundaries, and finding new ways to have fun, you’re giving yourself the chance to truly enjoy the season without sacrificing your recovery. Remember, leaning on your support network and practicing gratitude can carry you through even the toughest days, and knowing when to ask for help means you don’t have to go through it alone.
At Zen Mountain Sober Living, we believe in creating a supportive and nurturing space where you can thrive in your recovery journey. If you’re ready to build a brighter future, reach out to us and let’s take the next step together.
